Drip, drip,drip:
into puddles and streams;
streams flowing past houses,
of people indoors,
they’re bored out of their heads,
heads filled with the knowledge,
that sometime in the near future,
the rain will subside,
leaving soggy wet soil,
for the men to then work,
work upon till it rains again,
Drip, drip,drip:
in raindrops, in hail stones,
or what form they may take,
the rain will keep going,
to rivers and lakes,
and some place on earth,
will be unlucky enough,
to bear the bright raindrops,
till the heavens subside,
October 27, 2013 at 8:18 pm
Wow. What a rhythm.
Your choice of words helps to create a continuous flow that echoes the feeling of constant and intrusive rain. Well done.
Have you considered using enjambement? How might this alter the pace of your piece?